Cake Munch Man
by AppleOrchardBanana
Summary: Mari was very excited to be living her passion - baking cakes! It didn't matter that it was in the monster-ridden City Z; she would do what she had to do to get her experience and move up the ranks. But how is anyone going to be able to try her cakes if Saitama keeps eating them all himself? Short story, no edits or proofreads, for fun only. Will change to mature in later chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Mari stared intently at the cake as she used a cloth to brush the excess frosting off the stand. The cake was beautiful, with its strawberry flavored mix inside complete with chunks of fresh strawberries added in and a gorgeous white buttercream frosting with fluffy piping around the edges. She opened the glass door to the display case and placed the cake gingerly inside.

Next, she picked up one of the cupcakes she'd left to cool and began slapping frosting on them one by one. She'd been working at the bakery section of the grocery store for three days now. She wasn't happy about having to relocate to City Z, but she had just graduated from culinary school, after all. It hadn't been easy to find a position as a pastry chef, especially one that required no experience. She figured she would gain experience and pay her dues in City Z, and in a few years she would be able to find a position elsewhere.

City Z was one of the furthest cities, and, for some reason, the most prone to monster attacks. She hadn't witnessed anything yet, but she was always on guard, waiting for the first one. Because of this, the city was poorly populated and business in the grocery store was slow at times. That wasn't her concern though – she was just the pastry chef, not the general manager.

At least the rent was cheap.

She looked up at the _ding dong_ of the front door. It was around 1:00pm and this was the first customer of the day so far. She brushed the crumbs off the counter, wanting everything to look absolutely perfect. The bakery in the grocery store hadn't been in use in months. It was hard to find employees in City Z. Whenever people had come in so far, they'd ignored the bakery as if it were still dark and empty, in stark contrast to how Mari had worked to light the place up and decorate with her delicious and colorful treats. She bent over to look under the counter for the containers to put the individual cupcakes in, hopeful she may sell a baked good today.

"Oy!" a voice said and she nearly knocked her head on the top of the counter. She hadn't even heard anyone come up.

"Hello, how can I help you?" A man had approached her counter. Looking at his face, she would have guessed him to be around her age, but his head was completely bald. He was wearing gray cargo pants and a Hawaiian button-up shirt.

"When did this bakery section open back up?"

"Three days ago," she said. "Would you like to buy a cake?"

He blinked at her a few times, his face completely blank. "Can I have a sample first?"

"A sample?"

"Ya I'd like to know what it tastes like before I get the whole cake."

"Well, I can't cut into the cake, but you can try a cupcake – it's the same batters."

She opened the display case and lifted the glass top from the cupcake stand, pulling out one of her prized strawberry cupcakes. "What do you think?" She held it out for him to look at.

He looked at the cupcake and licked his lips before reaching out and taking the cupcake from her hand. _Strange,_ she thought, _He has dark eyebrows._

He held the cupcake in his hand and delicately peeled the cupcake wrapper back before opening his mouth and tossing the whole cupcake back in one gulp.

"Erm…" Mari said as she stared at him. "So how was it?"

He held the cupcake wrapper out to her and shrugged. "I'll take a strawberry cake."

"Yes sir!" she took the wrapper and tossed it before tapping a few buttons on her ticket printer. She tore the ticket off and handed it to him. "Just take this to the front register to pay. I'll pack up the cake." She smiled broadly at him. Her first sale! She pulled the cake out and placed it inside a white box, before wrapping it with a red bow, perfect for the strawberry cake.

"Thank you," she said as she passed the box over the counter to him. "I hope you have a great day!"

Xxxxxxxxx

"Master Saitama, I thought you just bought groceries yesterday. I have noticed in the past your pattern was to go to this particular market every three days. Did you forget something?"

"Well, we ate that cake too fast and now I want another."

"It was a very good cake."

It really was one of the best cakes he'd had, enough for him to get excited about. Not much excited him anymore. For the past three years he'd trained so hard to become the strongest hero for fun – his hair even falling out because of his intensive training regimen. Now that he was the strongest he knew, nothing was fun anymore. All the monsters that came around terrorizing the city were defeated with a single punch. He'd once had dreams and goals – he was planning on working in business finance up until three years ago. He would vomit at the thought of that if he weren't so bored just thinking of it. His whole world was in colors of black, white, and grays.

But food – the taste, the smell, the textures! He was thankful that the joys of eating hadn't been taken away from him. When he'd eaten that strawberry cupcake yesterday it was like an explosion in his mouth. The soft, fluffy, moist cake; the smooth icing with just a bite of a crunch; the sweet, tangy strawberries. He'd eaten the whole cake nearly by himself – saving one piece for his "student," Genos. Like a drug, he was desperate to have another hit.

They walked into the store and to the bakery counter. The lights were on and the display case was lit up, but the woman was not behind the counter. Genos peered into the display case.

"Sensei, this one is red velvet with cream cheese icing. Or do you think you would want a German chocolate? There are fruit tarts, as well."

Saitama gave the bell at the counter a quick slap, letting the _ding!_ carry through the store. He heard a rustle through a door behind the counter.

"One minute!" a voice called out. A few seconds later the young woman emerged from the door, the smell of cake clinging to her. Her brown hair was pulled up into a perky ponytail, with a few loose strands falling around her soft face. She wiped her floured hands on the front of her apron. "Oh, it's you again. Was everything alright with the cake?"

"Did you know it's bad business to keep a customer waiting?"

She blinked at him. "I'm sorry, I was putting a cake in the oven."

"What kind of cake?"

"A lemon cake. Are you here for another one?"

He shrugged and looked over at the display case. "It was a good cake."

She beamed at him. "Thank you so much!" She moved over to the display case. "Would you like to try another cupcake?"

"The red velvet looks good."

She handed him one of the cupcakes. "What's your favorite cake? I can make them custom, as well."

"Tiramisu," he said. She watched as he carefully unwrapped it as he'd done previously and tossed the whole thing into his mouth. She took the wrapper from him as he chewed the cake slowly, savoring the moment. "I'll take the red velvet today."

"Alright!" she said gleefully and began to take the whole cake out and place it in a box. "So did you really finish the other cake? It was alright?"

"This guy helped me finish it," he said and gestured to Genos.

"Master, I only had one slice."

"You sure are skinny for someone that can put away a whole cake." She had a kind smile. "I haven't had much business since starting, so I appreciate you coming by two days in a row. If you know anyone else that may want some baked goods, please send them my way."

"What's your name?"

"Mari. And yours?"

"Saitama."

"Well, I'm pleased to know you, Saitama," she said and extended the cake box to him.

He almost felt a smile at the corner of his mouth.

An explosion outside the grocery store stole their attention. Through the window Saitama could see a cloud of dust and debris settling. A car was laying on its side right outside the store. The cellphone in Genos' pocket alarmed.

"It's from the Hero Association. It says there's a monster right outside."

"Obviously," Saitama said. "What level?"

"Oh, are you a hero?" Mari asked Genos.

"Yes, Master and I are both heroes."

"Master?" she said and looked at Saitama. "Are you a hero?"

He shrugged at her.

"Threat level: tiger. Let me take care of this one, Sensei." The cyborg turned and walked out of the front door.

"I've never seen a real-live monster attack! Do you think it's safe to go outside?" She dashed over to the window to look out.

"Genos is usually able to handle things pretty well."

She looked back at him and winked. "Either way, you're a hero so you can protect me, right?"

"Erm…" he wasn't sure how to react to her. Was she flirting with him? Of course he could appreciate women – he glanced down at hoodie with the word "boobs" written across. But it had been a long time since a woman had looked at him, probably not since he'd lost his hair. Then again, he hadn't really looked at a woman either. His boredom had taken over every aspect of his life to where he was even too bored to date.

She flew out the front door, her red dress flapping in the breeze, and he followed slowly behind.

"Ssso," the monster snarled outside as Genos stared it down. "Thisss isss an Sss Classss?"

Saitama saw Mari shiver involuntarily. "I hate snakes."

The monster was around seven feet tall and had the head and torso of a cobra, with the arms and legs of a man. Gold and black stripes ran the scales of its body down into his cut off blue jean shorts.

"I'll make quick work of you, monster!" Genos said as he sprinted forward, his fist pulled back, ready to strike. Snakeman pulled back his own fist and swung, their fists colliding. With the whip of his tail, Snakeman twirled and sent Genos flying across the street with such force that he created a crater where he landed.

Mari herd Genos let out a groan.

"Genos! Do you need help?" Saitama called out.

"N-no, Master! I will dispatch him on my own, as you instructed."

"OK, well, don't die, then."

"It'sss not jussst him you ssshould be worried about!" Snakeman picked up a car and spun it with lightning speed around his head. The car turned into a blur and started created a vortex, causing the wind to kick up and debris to fly. Saitama saw the hem of Mari's dress begin to float up before she hurriedly brushed it back down. He certainly didn't mind seeing her creamy white legs.

Snakeman hurled the car at them. Saitama dashed forward in front of Mari, his right arm up, effectively stopping the car feet in front of her. The car collapsed around his arm, twisting around his body.

"Saitama!" Mari gasped. He turned around inside the car and wiggled out of the back, holding his cake box above his head. "Are you alright?!"

"Yea, it really wasn't anything much."

She jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "That was so scary! You saved me!"

"It was really nothing – just what a hero does," he said, still holding the cake and not sure what to do with his other hand. Should he touch her back? Her arm? Her ass?

At that moment, a brick came flying through the air, hitting his cake box and knocking it out of his hand. The cake fell out onto the ground and rolled a few feet into a weather drain.

"The CAKKEEEEEEE!" he yelled in anguish. He brushed Mari away quickly before crouching and jumping straight into the air and landing right in front of Snakeman. He pulled his fist back and punched the monster with so much force, the monster flew over the buildings. There was no telling where he would land, but it was obvious Snakeman would no longer be a problem.

He turned back to Mari where she simply blinked at him several times. He walked back to her and picked up the box.

"What about that lemon cake instead?"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: next chapter. This whole story is a quick write with no real proofreads or edits to each chapter, so please keep that in mind if it seems weird or disjointed. This has been a fun story to write so far!

Language and violence in this chapter.

* * *

Mari slowly walked to her apartment building. It had been quite the day. She'd sold a few things, two of which were cakes to Saitama – the first being the one that was destroyed during the monster battle, the second being his replacement. She'd told him he didn't need to pay for the second one. He'd dropped it while saving her, after all. He'd insisted on paying regardless.

He was a kind young man, though he looked bored most of the time and didn't say much. She was completely surprised to hear that he was a hero, and even more surprised to see his strength. He didn't look like a typical hero, with his cargo shorts and hoodie. Mari knew very little about the heros, other than seeing them out and about in her old city, City F. There were never many "monsters," but the heroes would sometimes help with petty crime.

Mari walked along the sidewalk and turned at the corner of her apartment. She turned again and began to walk up the stairs. A small, overgrown courtyard was to her right, a row of doors to the left. The courtyard was in dire need of maintenance. In the few weeks she'd been there, she hadn't seen a single groundskeeper to tend to the courtyard, or any of the bushes or grass for that matter. She figured there weren't many people who lived in the complex, so maybe they didn't bother.

She heard a door opening a few doors down and a young man stepped out onto the walkway. It was the cyborg she'd seen with Saitama earlier.

"Hello," she said as she walked closer, intending to walk by to her own apartment. "Genos, right? You were with Saitama earlier. You're the first person I've seen who lives here. I was starting to think I was the only one."

He stared at her as if scanning with some special cyborg sight. It made Mari uncomfortable, like it may have been x-ray vision.

"Yes, I just moved in with Master a few weeks ago. He's been living here for a few years. We're on our way out now. It seems there is a monster appearance nearby. Master is still working on his hero class ranking."

"Hero class ranking? I didn't realize there was a system."

Genos gave a curt nod. His stern expression was contrasted with his youthful features. He couldn't be more than 19 years old for someone so serious.

"Master is currently in the 'B' class, but he would like to move into the 'A' class to increase his income."

"Genos, who are you talking to?" Mari heard Saitama say as he approached the door. Mari saw he was wearing a yellow jumpsuit with red gloves and boots, complete with a white cape.

"Hi," Mari said with a wave. "I was starting to think I was the only one who lived here."

"Oh, yea," Saitama said. "Everyone moved out a while back. The monsters scared everyone away, I think. Why are you here? This isn't the best place."

"Monsters? I just moved here because it was close to the market and cheap."

"Yes, City Z is known for its frequent monster attacks, but that doesn't bother Master."

"I stay for the free rent."

"Free rent?!" Mari said.

"Yea, who would you pay the rent to? We're the only ones who stay in this area," he shrugged.

"Well, I was told to slip my rent money under the door to 416."

"And you've been doing that?"

"Yes! What if they kick me out?"

"Who would kick you out?" Saitama asked.

"So, you're telling me you've just been squatting here for who knows how long and haven't paid anything?"

"I've been here for two years now and haven't paid anything." He put his hand on his chin as if thinking. "Well, I guess that does make me a squatter, but I haven't really thought of it that way. I do help keep monsters away, so I hope that does account for something."

Mari felt her face growing hot. She turned silently on her heels and began marching to the stairs that led up to the third floor.

"Where are you going?" Saitama asked.

"To get my money back!" Genos and Saitama began to follow quietly behind her, not willing to test an irritated woman. She stomped up the stairs and turned to walk to the apartment labeled "416." She knocked loudly on the door. She'd been sent mail saying to slip her money under the doorway. She'd only paid one month's so far, and it was only a few days prior. She knocked louder when no one answered.

"There's no one in there," Saitama said.

"How do you know?"

He tapped his ear. "This apartment is directly above mine. I never hear anything above me."

"Well, I want my money back. Why should I pay if you don't?" She began to turn the doorknob and try to force her way in.

"Ma'am, you are with two heroes," Genos said. "If you are found breaking and entering, we will be forced to turn you in to the police."

"Bite me," she said. She didn't make much as a baker, and every little bit would help her get out of City Z whenever she'd gained enough experience to move out. The cost of living was low here, but she'd need more in savings to move. She tried to run her shoulder into the door but it didn't budge. "Ouch."

Saitama gave the door a swift kick and it flew off the hinges. Mari stepped over the threshold and saw her money laying on the ground. She bent over to pick it up.

"Why would they tell me to leave my money here with no one to pick it up?"

"Maybe they come around every few weeks and collect it. It could be a scam. Doesn't look like anyone lives here."

The apartment was empty of furniture and had a musty smell, as if it hadn't been opened in a while.

She stood up and turned to him. "Well, that's twice you've helped me today and you wouldn't even let me give you a cake. How can I repay you?"

"A hero doesn't ask for repayment. Well, except what the hero association pays." He shrugged again, as Mari realized he did that a lot. "I just do all of this stuff for fun, anyway."

"Oh, OK," she said as they turned to walk back down the stairs. "I do appreciate the help, regardless." She stopped outside of her apartment, number 317. She pulled out her key and began to turn the knob. "You guys have fun fighting monsters! Good night!"

Xxxxxx

The sun was beginning to set, casting a dusky glow on City Z. Saitama wasn't that excited about a monster sighting – after all, it was practically every day in the city. But Genos was wanting to be trained, and Saitama really didn't have anything else to do.

He'd been surprised to see Mari at the apartment complex. The population of City Z was so low, not even reaching the double digits. Even the workers from the market she worked at lived in City Y. The high concentration of monster sightings kept most people away. He wondered if she realized how dangerous the area was.

"What do you think of Mari?" Saitama said.

"The baker? My programming tells me that she is of average to above average attractiveness. Her skin and hair are healthy. Her hips are suitable for child bearing. My scan showed she ovulated five days ago."

Saitama put his face in the palm of his hand. "I meant subjectively!"

"I suppose she is 'cute,' and she does bake well. Those two things are important, correct?"

"Yes, very important." The truth was, Saitama didn't know how to feel. He was starting to sense a strange sort of magnetism to her, but hell – he'd only seen her three times now. It was hard to remember what it was like to have an attraction to someone. Was it a _crush_? Since he'd become so strong, exceptionally strong, _boringly_ strong, he hadn't really had much zest for anything, and he wasn't sure how to feel now. "Should I ask her on a date?"

"A date? That would be the first step to building a relationship if you have a sense of attraction toward her."

"Well, let's go ahead and get this taken care of. I'm ready to head back home."

Xxxxxx

Mari stood at her counter, mixing some espresso and brandy together. She took some crispy lady fingers and dipped them, one by one, into the mixture before laying them in a dish in a single layer. She took her bowl of marscapone custard that she'd mixed up and added a thick layer on top of the lady fingers. Another layer of the espresso soaked lady fingers went on top of that, followed by a top layer of custard. She covered the dish with plastic wrap and slid it into the barely stocked fridge. The tiramisu would need to chill overnight before it would be ready.

She took off the apron she was using to protect her white night gown. So what if it was 4:00 in the afternoon and she was still in her PJs? Wasn't that what Saturdays were for?

She filled up her watering pot and walked to the back door, stepping out onto her small balcony and watering her bonsai tree. She would probably have to repot it soon. She turned to go back inside and saw Saitama watering his own plants on the balcony next door. He was wearing his own lazy day clothes – a T shirt and pajama pants. He waved to her and she waved back before crossing her arms over her chest, suddenly aware of how see-through her white gown must be. In the deserted city, she wasn't expecting to see anyone when she stepped out briefly.

"I didn't take you for a plant man," she said to him.

"It passes the time."

"How many do you have?"

He looked around. "I think I'm at six right now. What about you?" Mari saw he had a few small trees as well as some cacti and his own bonsai bush.

"I just have the one," she said. "I'd like more, but they're so difficult to move and I don't plan on staying here for more than a few months."

"Don't plan on staying?"

"Well, yea. I mean, I only came here because I couldn't find any other jobs after graduation. I think after I get some experience I can move to a bigger city. Plus, I am worried about the monsters now. I didn't realize they were so prevalent here."

"It's not so bad." He gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Sure, it's easy for you to say, Mr. Hero. I, on the other hand, would not stand so great a chance." She looked at him. "What makes you stay here?"

"I don't mind the monsters. Plus, free rent, remember."

"I guess there is that." She went to open her door. "Oh, I made you a cake. It should be ready tomorrow. I hope it will be some form of thanks for saving me."

"It's really not necessary," he said. "But I will definitely eat any cake you made."

"Alright, well I will have it ready for you tomorrow!"

Xxxxxx

Mari ran down the sidewalk, her shoes slapping the pavement as she huffed and puffed. She hadn't run in a while, and it took a long time to get up the courage to go outside. After Saitama and Genos telling her about how frequent monsters pop up, she was definitely worried. She eventually talked herself into going out. After all, she couldn't spend the next few months cooped up inside her tiny apartment.

She'd been a runner since high school and could outrun anyone on the team back them. She could probably outrun a monster, anyway.

She rounded a corner and ran up the sidewalk beside a chain link fence, getting closer to the apartment. She raced up the stairway, slowing down to stop her watch and check her time. 3.4 miles in 24 minutes. Not her fastest, but she wasn't running to race anymore.

Down the walkway she saw Saitama at his door, digging in his pockets for his key while holding two bags of groceries.

"Hello, how are you?" Mari said as she got closer.

"Oh, hi, Mari. What are you up to?" He seemed to straighten up as he took in her clothing. She was sure she looked disgusting. She could feel her ponytail sticking to the sweat on her neck.

"I was just out for a run. It seemed like a good day for one, but it got hot fast."

His demeanor seemed to change suddenly. His face no longer seemed bored, but his eyes turned serious and the angles of his face became more pronounced. As he straightened even taller, Mari realized how much taller he was than her 5'2" frame. "Don't you think it's dangerous to be out by yourself around here?"

"Um, well, I am pretty fast. I would just try to outrun them, I guess. I can't stay inside all the time, and I don't really know anyone here that could go with me."

"Just be careful."

"I will," she was thrown off by his change. "I am."

He looked at her again before nodding and he seemed to relax back into his easy-going manner. "I can run with you, if you want."

"That's very funny. I told you, I'm pretty fast, so I don't know if you could keep up with me. But, I guess if you're feeling ambitious, you can join me next time." _That was weird,_ Mari thought. She filed his reaction away for later thoughts. "That cake is almost finished! Is it OK if I bring it over in a few hours? I still have to decorate it."

"Sure. I don't have anywhere else to be this afternoon."

"Alright, well I will see you then!" she turned and pulled out her own key to unlock her door. She closed it behind her, giving him one last wave as he watched her go in. She wasn't sure what to think of how his attitude had changed. He seemed genuinely concerned. But more than that, she couldn't stop thinking of how his eyes had sharpened and his jawline had clenched. Normally he looked kind of goofy to her – he was sweet, but still just indifferent, and he always looked so bored. When he was so serious he was almost handsome. Had he really been worried about her?

Mari shook her head. She really was getting lonely if she was thinking this guy that she'd seen maybe five times was feeling any sort of way about her. He was a hero. Heroes worried about people. And what was with him almost always being with that cyborg? And they lived together? Maybe they were a couple.

She showered and washed her hair, rinsing the sweat and dirt down the drain. Even if she'd convinced herself she was just his neighbor, she couldn't stop herself from slathering on a cherry blossom lotion and spritzing herself with a body mist. She pulled on a swingy, yellow, knee length skirt and a red blouse. She would let her wavy hair air dry while she fixed the cake.

The cake – tiramisu, as Saitama had said that was his favorite – had set beautifully through the night. She cut an oblong out of it and placed it as gently as possible on a cake carrier, using two spatulas to transfer. From there, she used cake piping to draw lined eyebrows, two eyes with small dots as pupils, and a thin line for a mouth. She giggled as she looked at the cake. It looked just like him! She put the lid over the carrier and walked out the door, not bothering with shoes. She knocked lightly on the door. She heard footsteps walking closer.

"Hi, Mari," Saitama said when he opened the door, looking from her face to the covered cake dish. He reached out to take the cake from her. "You can come in."

She handed him the cake and stepped over the threshold. She followed him down the narrow hallway and into the living area.

"This is Mari, everyone," he said to the three individuals sitting around the table. A bubbling hot pot was sitting in the center. Mari waved to everyone before lowering herself onto her knees beside the table. Genos was present, as well as another male with blonde hair, slicked back onto the nape of his neck. His blue eyes looked at her intently, and she almost covered her mouth at the sight of the three claw marks on the left side of his face, going from his eyebrows to his cheek. On the other side of Genos, across from Mari, was a beautiful woman with pale skin and black hair cut into a bob. Like the man, she had a stern look on her face, but where the man's was more intimidating, hers looked more like she was bored and uninterested. Her arms were crossed across her chest. A dark green dress hugged her shapely figure.

"My name is King," said the man beside her. He extended his hand and she gingerly placed hers in his.

"It's nice to meet you," she said. His hands were oddly soft for such a hardened exterior. "I'm Mari. And what was your name?" she extended her hand across the table to the woman to shake her hand as well.

"We've already established your name," the woman said, not uncrossing her arms. "You may call me Miss Blizzard."

Mari awkwardly pulled her hand back, smoothing down the front of her blouse and suddenly feeling small and inadequate.

"So are you guys heroes too?" she said and gave a small smile to King. "You look like heroes."

King gave a nod. "I'm an S-class, rank 6 currently. But I don't like to talk about work much."

"Don't be so modest, King," Miss Blizzard said. "King is the strongest man on earth. He consistently defeats the strongest monsters that other heroes are unable to. I'm first rank, B-class. I remain at the top to make sure no ' _heroes'_ get to A-class without merit."

"Oh, this is so interesting. I never really paid much attention to the hero rankings before. I guess I didn't realize there was a system."

"So you are not a hero, then?" King asked.

"Obviously," Miss Blizzard said from across the table. Mari felt her face burn.

"No, I'm a baker."

"That is a very important job."

"One of the most important," Saitama said as he sat down between her and Miss Blizzard. He set down a plate of vegetables and tofu to dip into the hot broth.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked if you needed any help prepping," she said as he passed a pair of chopsticks to her.

"Genos did this earlier as part of a training exercise. Are you also a cook?"

"It was a large part of culinary school. We learned the skills for nearly everything food related." She noticed he was wearing a hoodie sweatshirt with a curvy w with two dots strategically placed in the valleys of the curves. The word "boobs" was printed across the front. She thought it were silly she had even entertained the idea that he was a gay man. Seeing him sitting next to Miss Blizzard, she was wondering if they weren't together instead. They didn't seem very friendly toward each other.

"How did you guys all meet?" she asked, curious at their answers as they all began to place their vegetables into the broth.

"I met Master during a battle with a mosquito woman. I would surely have perished if Master had not arrived," Genos said.

"I met Saitama at my apartment. I can't remember the exact details, but we started playing video games together shortly after."

Miss Blizzard didn't answer, instead picking at her nails.

"I don't remember where I met Blizzard. She wants me to join her Blizzard group, apparently."

"Any other hero would consider it a great honor to be invited to join such an esteemed group," she said stiffly.

The whole room shook and a loud bang came from the street outside.

Genos stood up and went out to the balcony. "Master, a monster has landed in the street outside. I will dispatch him using the skills I acquired while slicing the vegetables earlier!" Mari saw his outline as he jumped over the railing and down to the street below.

"So that's it, they just show up outside the apartment?" Mari asked.

Saitama sighed. "Yea, and right when the hot pot is about to be done."

Miss Blizzard stood up suddenly. "I'll go see the situation myself." She began to walk to the door.

"Should you guys go help also?" Mari asked, looking from Saitama to King. Saitama was using his chop sticks to stir the hot pot and sucking the broth from the sticks.

"I guess," Saitama said as he got up slowly. He slipped his sandals on. King followed behind as they left out the front door.

"I don't have any shoes, let me get some from my apartment."

"You can just slip on those slides at the door," Saitama said. Mari slipped on the extra sandals. They were several sizes too large, but would get her from point A to point B. Blizzard hurried to the front, but Saitama and King walked slowly. Though Mari was happy she didn't have to run in the sandals, she couldn't help but wonder why they weren't more worried about their friend.

"Genos can usually handle things on his own. Plus, he's a cyborg. He can't really die," Saitama said as if he were reading her thoughts. They rounded the corner in time to see Genos sprinting before jumping and landing a punch squarely in the face of a large worm, nearly seven feet tall. The worm crumpled to the ground a bit, retreating below in a giant hole Mari assumed that it had emerged from.

"Oh, that was pretty quick," Mari said.

"No," Genos responded. "There's something else." The ground started to quake. Mari knees began to wobble, and she felt she would have fallen if King hadn't steadied her. The ground ahead of them began to break into pieces, the cement sidewalk crumbling. The worm emerged again from the hole, but this time Mari saw that the seven foot worm from earlier was only the nose of a much larger worm. The worm was actually an enormous creature, longer than a football field, and as thick as a bus.

"You've got a big one, Genos," Saitama said. "Do you need some help?"

"No, Master, I can take this one."

"Don't be a ridiculous fool, Genos," Blizzard said. "I will dispatch this one and show Saitama the power of the Blizzard group!" She brought her hands together and Mari felt the air around her begin to swirl. Debris and random objects were lifted from the ground and were sucked into the vortex she was creating. The breeze blew up Mari's skirt and she hurried to smooth it back down. She began to feel a tug herself, a strong wind blowing her forward, urging her to join the whirlwind. The wind didn't seem to be effecting King or Saitama.

Her legs were moving her forward of their own accord, and she struggled against the wind. Just as she was blown forward, and was sure she was about to go flying, Saitama threw his hand up, his arm catching her mid chest, and she grabbed on.

"Blizzard! Cool it with the whirlwind thing! There's too much flying around here!"

"Maybe the civilian should go back inside if she doesn't want to get hurt."

"I will escort Mari to a safe distance," King said as he picked her up and began to carry her outside of the whirlwind.

Mari looked up into King's face, wondering at his scar but also thinking that he wasn't bad to look at. She didn't mind being carried around by him.

"OK, let's stop fucking around. The hot pot's still on," Saitama said to Genos and Blizzard. He glanced back at King and Mari, though she couldn't see the look on his face. "Take care of it or I'll do it myself."

Genos did seem to be struggling with the worm. Hit, after hit, it seemed like the worm was only absorbing them and becoming more angry.

"Machine gun blow!" Genos shouted before unleashing a barrage of punches on the worm. His arm was moving so fast Mari couldn't even see where they were landing, but by the reaction of the worm, it seemed to be inciting the creature. Genos's hands began to glow red hot and flames formed over his fists. "Everyone stand back!"

Several things happened at once then. The worm suddenly shook and flipped its tail. Blizzard was caught off guard by the flip and flew through the air. Before she could engage her teleportation, Saitama was sprinting toward her.

"INCINERATE: MAXIMUM POWER!" Genos unleashed a blast of flames across the worm. The blast took up the whole scene, burning everything in it's path. Mari held up her hand against the heat and glare of the flames. King turned his back to the flames.

But what about Saitama and Blizzard? Last thing she saw, Blizzard was flying into the air and Saitama was running straight for her into the flames….

"SAITAMA!" she screamed as she flew out of King's arms and ran over to the flames.

"STOP!" Genos shouted as he turned his flames off. The body of the worm was scorched and ashen, but it was incapacitated. Smoke was billowing from the body.

Mari coughed against the smoke as she looked out at the embers and the gray clouds swirling upwards.

"Where's Saitama?!" she yelled at Genos. Could he have been incinerated like the worm? She didn't understand how anything could survive Genos' blast. Saitama was a strong hero, but he was still human.

Before she could panic more, she heard a noise behind her and looked to see Saitama emerging from the smoke and flames. Blizzard was stumbling along behind him, coughing and sputtering.

Mari ran over to him, coughing against the smoke. "How did you survive-" she stopped short as she realized his hoodie had been completely burned off. His lean and muscular upper body was on complete display.

"Hey, Genos! You owe me a new hoodie," he called out. "That was my favorite one too." He didn't seem to be affected by the smoke.

"You are an absolute freak of nature," Blizzard said through coughs. Her hair was singed and frayed on the ends and her dress was looking worse for wear. "You cannot be human."

"Well, I think that's enough excitement for tonight. There is a hot pot waiting for me."

"I could definitely use some food after all that," Blizzard said.

"Me, too," King replied.

"Who do you guys think you are? No one even invited you," Saitama said as they began to walk back to the apartment. Mari hung back to talk to Genos about his incineration powers.

"Hey, Saitama," King said. "How do you feel about Mari?"

"What do you mean?" Saitama looked back at her to see if she were out of earshot.

"I mean, she's pretty cute and nice. I know you met her first. I was going to ask her out if you didn't mind."

Saitama looked from King, back to Mari. She looked so soft and pretty, but he knew she was kind and smart as well. Did he want to give her a hug? Was that what normal people did? The thought that he didn't feel completely bored and indifferent when he looked at her crossed his mind.

And he'd definitely noticed earlier when her skirt nearly flew up. He wouldn't have minded seeing more of those legs.

"Nah," Saitama said. "If Mari will go out with you, then go for it."

"Thanks, man," King said. "I wouldn't want to get in the way of anything."

"Don't worry, you won't."


	3. Chapter 3

Saitama wanted to punch King in the face. So what if it was his own fault? King had asked Saitama if he minded asking Mari out, and Saitama had told him it was no big deal, but he wasn't sure that was really how he felt. Truth was, he didn't know how to feel. His emotions were so flat. Nothing excited him anymore. But Mari was exciting. She was so kind and seemed to show genuine interest in him. Just yesterday, he'd heard a sound at his front door. It sounded like paper being slid under the frame. He got up, expecting to toss the trash, and instead found a sheet of coupons from the grocery store Mari worked at. _From: Mari. I thought you would like to look through these. Enjoy!_ She'd scribbled on the backside. She obviously thought about him. But maybe in just a friend-like way. He hadn't asked if King had said anything to her.

He knew he couldn't stop thinking about the way her skirt almost flew up the other night, especially now that he was running slowly behind her.

"Master," Genos whispered behind him. "What purpose does this training exercise serve? We are running at half your normal speed and going a lesser distance."

"It is important to have rest days for muscle recovery."

"Do you need muscle recovery?"

"Well, no, but it helps with, er…" Saitama really couldn't explain why they were running other than he was worried about Mari being out by herself. That, and he didn't mind the view from behind.

Suddenly, Mari stopped. She turned around, her face red and dripping with sweat. She marched up to Saitama and started poking a finger in the center of his chest.

"No one said you guys had to come," she said, irritated. "If you don't like the pace, then go around me. I'm fine out here by myself."

"I'm not complaining," Saitama said. "Genos, get lost if you don't like it."

"I was only making a remark."

"If you guys are so fast, then let's see it."

"I have had some new upgrades recently, and would like to test them out. I think a race would be a good use of our training time."

With a new plan in mind, they began to walk outside of the city, Mari following behind. She wanted to continue her run, but also wanted to see what all the fuss was about. She figured Genos was probably fast – he was a cyborg, after all. And Saitama _was_ pretty strong. He'd been able to defeat two monsters with a single punch, and he had stopped that car that was flying for her, but that didn't mean he was a good runner.

She was hoping he was slow as hell and she could make fun of him.

After around 15 minutes of walking, they came to a clearing just outside of the city. The ground was barren and looked as if it had been trampled down. The clearing was bordered by tall dirt peaks, as if the walls had been sliced into.

"Is this where you guys train?"

"Yes, I created this area strictly for sparring with Master," Genos said. "We needed an area with enough space and far enough away from the city that we wouldn't have to worry about casualties."

"OK, well, you two go ahead and get this over with. I just wanted to have a nice run, and I'd like to get back to that."

"Let's get this done, Genos."

The two of them lined up beside Mari behind a line in the dirt Mari drew with her shoe. "I'll count ready, set, go, and then you guys can take off. Are you ready?" She stood beside them, her arm in the air. They both gave nods, with Genos looking serious and adjusting his stance. Saitama stood quietly. She thought he may have been stifling a yawn. "Ready, set…. GO!" she swung her arm down to signal for them to start. She blinked her eyes but they were still standing in front of her, only facing the opposite direction now.

"What are you guys doing? I said go."

"We're done," Saitama said. Mari blinked at him.

"You're done?" Was it possible? Could they have run faster than her eyes could follow?

"We can go back to your run now, Mari. I think that's enough training for Genos today."

She looked over at Genos, who was standing with his fist over his mouth and looking contemplative.

"Even with my new upgrades, master is still far faster. Perhaps running at half speed for short periods of time is an adequate training technique after all."

"Shut up, Genos!" Mari yelled at him, insulted. She turned to Saitama next. "I'm going to get back to my run. You guys feel free to keep playing around here. You don't have to come with me since my run seems too boring for you guys." She turned stiffly and began running back toward the city.

"Look what you did, Genos," Saitama said, turning to him. "You've upset Mari."

"Teacher, I am just confused, I think. I still didn't understand your training mechanism from earlier, but I see now. You are still faster than me. It must be the result of the slower, muscle recovery running that you do."

"No, Genos. I was running that way to follow Mari. She can't be running around in City Z by herself. A monster might attack her."

"Then why didn't you just tell her you were trying to protect her?"

"She's too proud to accept that as an answer." Saitama gave a loud sigh, his shoulders slumping. "I'm going to go after her. I'll just follow behind where she won't see me. You go home, Genos, and think about why you lost the race today. That's your homework assignment."

"Yes, master! I will report back tomorrow." Saitama groaned, knowing Genos would definitely return to give Saitama all the reasons why he felt he'd lost. Saitama began jogging after Mari as Genos flew off into the sky. It didn't take long before he saw her ahead. He slowed down to keep a good distance from her, but even from far away he could see how the skin of her lean legs glistened in the sun. Her running shorts rustled with her movements, just barely long enough to cover her bottom.

Saitama shook his head. He was supposed to be making sure she wasn't attacked, not pursuing her like a predator. She rounded a corner up ahead and Saitama sped up, not wanting to let her get out of his sight. He sped up even faster when he heard a commotion up ahead.

He rounded the corner to see Mari stooping over and picking up several grocery items from the ground, a young man crouched beside her. They dropped items from the ground into a paper bag and Saitama realized they must have had a collision as she rounded the corner. She had a smile on her face and seemed to be laughing at something the young man said. As they straightened up, Saitama realized there was something familiar about the young man.

Black hair pulled up on top of his head. Gray eyes. Purple marks beneath his eyes. Thin frame and about Saitama's height. The young man was wearing a T shift and a pair of gray shorts along with slide on sandals.

"Saitama," the young man said, his voice low. Mari turned behind her, seeing Saitama as well.

"Oh, do you two know each other?"

"Yea, this guy's…." Saitama trailed off, seeming to think hard. "Erm, what was your name again?"

"Really?" The young man said incredulously. "It's Speed o' Sound Sonic."

"Right. That guy."

Sonic scoffed at him. "You're lucky that I'm out on errands today, Saitama. I don't have time to deal with the likes of you, but just know, when you least expect it, I will appear and challenge you again."

"Yea, yea, whatever you say."

"Mari," Sonic said, turning to her. "Will you be back at the bakery tomorrow? I would love one of your lemon bundt cakes."

"Of course," she said, smiling at him. "If you stop by in the afternoon I'll be sure to have a fresh one waiting for you."

"Sounds like a date then. See you tomorrow afternoon." Sonic began to walk away. "Saitama." He nodded at him as he walked past, his paper bags in his arms.

"So you decided to follow me?" Mari said to Saitama.

He shrugged. "Slow runs are my secret to beating Genos."

"Liar."

"I don't mind running with you."

" _Don't mind_ sounds like you could take it or leave it. So just leave it." She turned from him and started walking back toward the apartments.

"You know, City Z has the highest occurrence of monster sightings," he said matter of factly as he walked behind her.

"It's fine." She waved her hand in the air as if she was clearing away the thought. "There's always plenty of heroes around. I'm not worried and you shouldn't be either."

The stairs leading up to their apartments _clanked_ under their feet. They walked down the balcony together and Saitama saw a young woman standing outside of Mari's door.

"Mari!" The woman said and rushed towards them, throwing her arms around the other woman's shoulders.

"Sis!" Mari said with a big smile on her face. "What a surprise!"

"I know! I was missing you so much so I got your address from mom and dad. I thought I would spend a few days with you. We could get dinner, you could show me around, have some girl talk. It will be fun!"

They pulled back from their embrace. "Sounds amazing," Mari said.

"Who's with you?" the other woman asked, as if she just noticed Saitama standing behind Mari.

"Oh, this is my neighbor, Saitama," Mari said. "Saitama, this is April, my little sister. Saitama went on a run with me this morning. Actually, I should probably get cleaned up. I don't know that there's anywhere good around here to eat, but we can take the subway to City V. They have a great okonomiyaki place I've been wanting to try." The girls turned and began to walk to Mari's door. Saitama turned to his own door but watched as Mari dug around in the pocket in the waistband of her shorts, exposing a thin line of tan skin. She produced a key and inserted it into the lock, pressing the door in.

"Bye, Saitama!" she called out to him as they walked in.

He raised his hand in goodbye, but she'd already shut the door closed.


	4. Chapter 4

"There seems to be a lot of commotion next door," Genos said as he scrolled through the hero database, checking the rankings.

"Mari's sister is staying with her for a few days." Saitama flipped the page on his manga. If April was staying with her, that meant she would be busy. He didn't know when they would see each other again. But at least it meant she wouldn't be seeing King either. Or would she still see him? The thought confused him. Lately he'd been having all sorts of…feelings. He had to admit, it was nice to actually feel _something_ , even if it was disappointment or jealousy.

"I will tell them to keep it down." Genos stood up abruptly.

"No, leave them alone."

"But I can tell they're bothering you. You have been ill at ease for the afternoon."

"It's not them. I don't mind listening to that."

"Are you hungry? Was training exhaustive for you today?"

"No," Saitama rolled over on his bed mat.

"I'm confused then. What else could it be? Those seem to be your only concerns."

"I have a lot of other things going on in my life besides food and hero work, Genos." He stared at the wall. "Write that down. 'It's important to have other things in your life besides food and hero work.' That's the lesson for this evening."

Genos pulled out a notepad and began to scribble. "So, what should I do, then? What else is there?"

"Find a hobby or something."

"Like manga or video games?"

"Sure. Whatever." Was that all his life was? Food, work, manga, and video games? Had his life been reduced to those four things?

"I also have revenge."

"Is that what makes life worth living?"

Genos looked back at his notes, flipping back a few pages as if he were looking for the right answer. "Is teacher wanting to discuss existentialism?"

"Maybe. What does that mean?"

"The human experience. What is important? What makes an individual themselves?"

Saitama sat up. "Yea. That's what I'm talking about."

"Information on philosophy has been downloaded into my motherboard in previous upgrades. Many people find meaning in helping others. Is that why you wanted to become a hero?"

"I don't know." He thought about it. "I guess it was at first. Then I liked the fighting. But now, it's like, what's the point, you know? I feel like it doesn't matter anymore."

"Maybe since it's become a job, it's changed. Many people find fulfillment in altruism."

"Like volunteer work?" He thought for a minute. "Actually, that may be just what I need."

Mari looked out the bakery window and waved to Genos. A few moments earlier she'd seen him and Saitama approach the rubble outside the grocery store where Saitama had defeated a monster days before. They seemed to be clearing the debris from the streets and sidewalk.

Genos waved back awkwardly, as if he were unsure of the gesture. Saitama turned to look through the window and waved also. Mari waved back at him, smiling gently. It was nice of them to clean up the area, she thought. Sure, the hero work was important and safety was a top priority, but the clean up after a monster attack was also hard work on the average individuals who were left to pick up the pieces. She watched as Saitama tossed a large cement wall into a garbage dumpster.

The bell on the door rang and she turned her attention to the possible customer.

"Hiiii!" April said as she looked into the glass cases, her tongue stuck out slightly from her mouth. "I got bored at the apartment, so I thought I would come and see where you work!"

"It's been a slow day," Mari replied. "But this is where I do my magic." She motioned to the counter. "I usually bake a couple of big cakes a day, and a few dozen cupcakes. The mini bundt cakes are the best sellers. I have to make probably a dozen of those each day. Want to try one?"

"Yes!" Mari slid the glass door to the display case and pulled out a strawberry bundt cake. She placed it on a small white doily and passed it to her sister. April took a bite, the powdered sugar sticking to her upper lip.

"It's really great!" she said, smiling as she took another bite. "A snack and a show." They both looked back outside the window. "So that's your neighbor, right?"

"Saitama? Yea, he lives in the apartment next to mine. I think the other guy, Genos, may be living with him, but I'm not sure."

"Oh, do you think they're together?"

"I don't think so, but I guess I've never really asked."

"He's pretty cute," April said.

"Saitama?"

"No, the blonde haired guy – Genos."

"Hmmm, I guess I can see it. He's a little young for me, I think. Do you want me to say something for you?"

"No!" April exclaimed. "Don't embarrass me."

The bell rang again and another individual walked through. Speed o' Sound Sonic appeared beside April.

"Hi, Mari," he said.

"Hi, Sonic. How are you today?"

"Very well. How about you?"

"Good so far. Can't complain."

April looked back and forth between them.

"This is my sister, April. April, this is Sonic. He's one of my regular customers." Sonic nodded to the young woman. He seemed to be more reserved than usual. "I actually made several lemon bundt cakes fresh this morning for you." The doorbell rang again, and Saitama appeared beside Sonic in a flash, followed by Genos more slowly. "Oh, hi, Saitama, Genos."

"Mari, is this man bothering you?" Genos asked, turning toward Sonic.

"No, Genos. I don't think Sonic bothers anyone." She gave him a gentle smile.

"I wouldn't go _that_ far," Saitama said.

"What are you saying?" Sonic asked.

"You frequently bother me," Saitama said with a shrug.

"I didn't come here to be insulted," Sonic said, narrowing his eyes.

"Saitama, stop harassing my customers," Mari said. "If you aren't going to be nice, maybe you should go back to cleaning up outside."

"Actually, I came here to ask you a question," Saitama said before he realized what he was saying. "To ask you and your sister a question. Mostly your sister, I mean, but you as well. Actually, really, you, too. I wanted to know if April would like to go out to a dinner with us – with Genos, and I would be there, and you could also come and be there as well."

"Oh, Genos would like to go on a date with April?" Mari asked, looking at April excitedly.

"No, actu-" Genos started before getting a quick jab in the ribs.

"Yes, and we could go as well."

"That may be fun. What do you think?"

April blushed and nodded. "Sounds fun. What time?"

"We can pick you guys up around 7 at the apartment?"

"That should work," Mari said as she and April nodded. "We'll see you then!"


	5. Chapter 5

Mari sat across the table from April and smiled at her encouragingly. Genos sat beside April, his hands clasped on the table in front of him. He seemed very stiff, and Mari couldn't tell if it were from nervousness or simply because he was made of metal. April looked up at him and smiled slightly. He blinked back at her.

Saitama flipped through a menu beside her. "What do you like to eat?"

"Um," she peered at the menu he was looking at. The waiters had assumed they were on a double date and had only given them two menus. She thought it would be rude to tell them otherwise, but now she wished she had her own menu to look at. She was having to scoot closer and closer to see the entrees.

"Oh, sorry," she said as her arm brushed against his.

"No, I'm sorry," he said and moved the menu between them. "I'm hogging the menu all to myself."

She grabbed the left side of the menu while he held onto the right. She pointed to a noodle bowl. "One of these."

"That's a good start," he said as he pointed to a grilled fish. "I'll get one of these."

"I'll also get one of these," she pointed to a raw fish ceviche.

"One of these as well." He pointed at a tempura dish with shrimp skewered on sticks.

"Also need some rice."

"And this eggplant is really good."

"And for drink?" They feverishly flipped to the back of the menu, Saitama's finger going down the page, reading off the options.

"You guys must be hungry," April said.

"I'm very hungry," Mari replied. "What are you getting?"

"Probably just a cup of miso soup and green tea."

"Miso and green tea?" Mari asked. "That doesn't seem like much."

"But it's what I want," April said through gritted teeth.

"OK, well suit yourself," Mari said, not wanting to push the issue. Perhaps she was trying to look dainty and feminine for her date? She'd been on dates herself where she'd forgone eating real food, instead picking at a salad to appear more fit and healthy to her date. She shrugged and looked back at the menu. "I think I actually want a yuzu sour for a drink."

"And I'll have a beer," Saitama said. The waiter returned with a pen and paper to take their orders.

"And will these checks be together or separate?"

"Separate," Mari and Genos said together.

April looked over at Genos.

"I can pay for ours, Mari," Saitama said to her, looking a bit sheepish.

"No, it's fine," she said. "I ordered a lot of food."

"I really don't mind," he argued.

"Teacher, that was a large amount of food, the bill may be higher than what you hav-" Genos jumped in his seat as Saitama kicked him under the table.

"Genos, you don't know what you're talking about," Saitama said as he leaned back in his chair. "I just turned in some monsters to the hero association not long ago."

"Are you sure? You don't often report your actions to the hero association."

The poor waiter stood awkwardly as the two men continued to argue. "So, the check..?"

Mari sighed. "You can just put mine and hers together and those two can be separate."

The waiter nodded and scribbled on his pad before walking away.

"So, you're a hero?" April asked Genos. Genos nodded once quickly. "What's that like?"

"It is a job that helps me reach my ultimate goal, which is becoming strong enough to find and dispatch a cyborg that killed my family," Genos said. "Master Saitama is teaching me to become stronger."

"That's some pretty dark table talk, Genos," Saitama said, waving his hand at the cyborg. "Why don't you tell her what class you are?"

April blinked at him expectantly.

"Rank 14, S class," Genos said.

"Wow," April said, her eyes turning to stars. "That's really great!"

"Rankings do not matter to me, I only wish to become stronger. That's why I train with teacher."

"What rank are you?" Mari asked Saitama.

"Rank 7, B class," he answered, looking away.

"Saitama rarely reports his activity or the monsters he has defeated. He has grown to that level based on other people reporting him. It's nearly unheard of. Also, other heroes sometimes report his deeds as their own."

"You don't report your work?" Mari asked him.

"I only became a hero for fun. I'm not worried about rankings or classes."

"If he reported everything he did, he would quickly move up to the S class. Saitama is the strongest hero, possibly in the world."

"Hmmm." The waiter returned and set their drinks down in front of them. "Can I go ahead and order another drink?"

The waiter nodded quickly as he looked around the table, seeming to read the situation.

"Just keep them coming as long as we're sitting here," she said.

"So, Mari, how did you end up in Z city?" Saitama asked, feeling as though he sounded ingenuine. Was that what interested people said? For once in a long time he wasn't bored, but he wasn't sure how to convey interest anymore.

"Well, I graduated with my culinary degree about a year ago. I did an internship at a bakery, but was still living with my parents in K city. When it came time to find a job, I looked all over the city. I even branched out to the other cities in the area. I tried L city, J, M, H, I, still, no one would call me back. Eventually I realized no one wanted someone without experience. So I decided to apply to Z city, since it was so far out there weren't as many applicants, and then I-"

"Mari," Genos said seriously, "That is far too many words. Saitama's preferred responses are 20 words or less."

"Oh," Mari said, looking confused.

"Genos!" Saitama shouted at him. "Stop interrupting. If I didn't want Mari to answer, I wouldn't have asked."

Mari slurped her drink down quickly. "This is a weird dinner." The waiter quickly set another drink in front of her and carried her empty glass away.

"It is much different than I thought it would be," April agreed.

"Genos," Saitama whispered as he leaned across the table while the girls were distractedly speaking. "Why don't you speak to April a little bit more? She wanted to come on this date with you."

"The doctor removed my infatuation centers to make more space for upgrades. I have no desires to be with women."

"What a sad life," Saitama said with a sigh. "Ok, well, listen up. I'm feeling more interested in someone than I have in years and I need you to not ruin this for me. Do you understand?"

The sound of Mari slurping down her next drink had them turning back around. "So are you two together or what?"

Saitama's mouth fell open. "No!" he said a little too quickly. "Absolutely not. I mean, not that there's a problem with that, but Genos? Actually, he was just telling me that he doesn't like _anyone_ , that portion was removed from his brain to make room for more cyborg upgrades. Isn't that interesting?" He laughed awkwardly.

A waiter came by and sat down a small bowl of miso and a cup of green tea in front of April. She began to sip on it conservatively as the waiter took away another of Mari's empty glasses and Saitama's empty beer glass. Fresh glasses were put down in their places.

"Mari, do you think you should take it easy on the alcohol?" April asked.

"No, I'll be fine, especially once we get the food." She looked over as she heard Saitama set his empty glass down. "Well, you made quick work of that one."

"You're already one ahead of me," he said as he tapped the table with his glass again, trying to summon the waiter. "And you're right, this is a weird dinner, so we might as well enjoy ourselves."

Mari grinned at him.

The waiter brought over a large bowl of noodles and set them in front of Genos, while a second waiter began to bring out Mari and Saitama's dishes.

"Wow! Everything looks so good!" Mari said, her eyes wide as saucers as she picked up her chopsticks.

Saitama clicked his chopsticks together in his hand before they both attacked the dishes, seemingly uncaring who ordered what. Genos and April looked on as they pounced on the plates like predators on their prey, shoveling one bite after another into their faces. More drinks seemed to appear out of thin air and were promptly emptied. Mari had lost track of how many she'd had, but she wasn't too worried.

She looked over at Saitama and saw a faint pink tinge to his cheeks. His glass was sitting empty as well, and she wasn't sure how many he'd had. He finally leaned back into his seat, placing his hand on his distended stomach.

"Wow, Mari," April said as she looked across at the empty dishes. "You made quick work of that."

"So, what?" Mari said as she leaned back as well, copying Saitama's posture. "I was hungry."

She watched her sister look over at Genos from beneath her eyelashes as he slurped at his own noodles. He didn't seem to be paying April any attention.

"Why don't you two tell us what made you want to become heroes?" Mari asked.

"It all started 4 years ago..." Genos started. "I was 15 years old and still a normal human being. Even in this harsh world, I had a pretty happy and peaceful life with my family until then. But one day, a crazy cyborg attacked our town all of a sudden. He had completely lost his mind... I guess, his brain had been damaged during its transplantation into his cyborg body. He left after destroying everything in the town. The parks, the schools, the buildings, my home... Of course... my family didn't survive. Only I was miraculously spared, but as I was just a meek 15-year-old boy back then, I wouldn't have survived long all alone in the ruins of a town if Dr. Kuseno hadn't passed town by chance and found me. Dr. Kuseno is a scientist of justice and was pursuing the cyborg to stop him. I begged Dr. Kuseno to transform me into a cyborg and was reborn as a cyborg who fights for justice. I made a promise to Dr. Kuseno to find that cyborg one day and destroy him."

"That is soooo interesting, Genos," April said. She batted her eyelashes at him.

"So, did you find the cyborg?" Mari asked.

"I'm still searching. Every minute I'm not training with Master or Dr. Kuseno, I'm searching for any sign of him so I can avenge my family and town."

"Is Saitama helping you?" Mari looked at Saitama.

"Master is helping me train. If one day I am able to defeat Master in a duel, I know I will be ready."

"Saitama is… stronger…? Than you?" Saitama smirked at her.

"Don't seem so surprised." His cheeks were pink and his eyes looked watery.

"His strength seems to have no bounds," Genos said matter-of-factly. "Each time I receive a new upgrade I expect to be stronger, but he is light years ahead of me, always."

"Hmm." She cut her eyes at Saitama. "How did you get so strong?"

Genos pulled out a notebook and began flipping feverishly. They all watched him in rapt interest. "100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats, and run 10 kilometers daily. Also, do not use air conditioning or heater. Do this for a year and a half and you will begin to gain Master's strength. This was his training regimen."

"That can't be true," Mari said.

"Maybe you should try following my training regimen and then you can be the real judge."

She laughed at him. "I'm a baker. We eat cake and take naps. We do not do push ups."

He smiled at her.

"Don't you think it's wrong to lead your student on with a fake program?"

"Mari," Genos said, his voice low, "Are you insinuating that Master is a liar?" His eyes were dark and bore into her face.

"Basically," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Woman – " Genos started.

The whole table shook for a moment as it seemed like someone was kicked under the table.

"I think it's time to leave," Saitama said. As if waiting in the shadows, a waitress appeared and handed Saitama a check.

"I thought we said separate checks," Mari said as she grabbed one end of the paper. "Well, I guess we can tell them at the register."

"That's really not necessary," Saitama said, pulling the slip tight.

"No, really, I've got it," Mari said as she gritted her teeth at him.

"No, I insist," Saitama responded.

April and Genos watched them from across the table.

"Do you think we should stop them?" April asked Genos shyly.

"As I have deemed Mari no threat to Teacher, I will refrain from involving myself," Genos responded.

"They're just playing," April said.

"Playing?" Genos looked at her as if she were speaking another language. He looked back at Saitama and Mari. Mari had her hand on Saitama's face, trying her best to pry his grip from the bill. Genos brought his hand to his mouth, as if deep in thought. "I suppose that makes sense. I know Master could easily subdue Mari and take the paper, but still he feigns weakness. That is no way to impress a woman…"

"I think they're flirting…" April smiled gently at Genos.

"Flirting?"

As if on cue, Mari left go of the bill, and Saitama nearly hit himself in the face. "Fine! If you're going to be stubborn like that, I won't fight you."

"You're the stubborn one," Saitama said.

"I guess I can cover for next time?"

"Sure," he said as they all began to stand from the booth. They followed Saitama up to the register as he paid. April gave Mari a meaningful look, but Mari only shrugged.

"What do you think of Genos?" Mari whispered to her once they were outside and walking down the sidewalk.

"I don't want to talk about it," April responded. "But what do you think of Saitama?"

"Saitama?" Mari asked, a hitch in her voice. "Saitama?" She looked ahead where Saitama and Genos were walking. The street lights were glinting off his head. He had his hands tucked into the pockets of his cargo shorts. He seemed slight and lean, but the muscles of his forearms and calves were well defined. Mari began to wonder if he may not be more fit than he let on. He was a hero after all…

"Well, I hadn't thought about it until you mentioned something!" Mari hissed. She felt her cheeks get red. "He's my neighbor!"

"That makes it more convenient, right?" April jabbed her elbow into Mari's ribs, giving her a sly wink.

Mari groaned slightly. "He's kind of weird, isn't he?"

"He's nice enough, maybe you just have to get to know him."

The metal of the stairs _clanked_ as they all walked up the steps to their apartments.

"Good night, April," Genos said as they stood outside the doors. "Mari."

"Good night, Genos," Mari said. "And Saitama." She stood awkwardly and before she knew what she was doing, extended her hand to him.

"Oh," Saitama said, slightly surprised. He grasped her hand in his in a handshake. "I had a nice time."

"Uh huh." Mari could feel her face burning. What was with this weird handshake she'd initiated?

"Maybe we could go again sometime?"

"Uh huh."

"Ok, well, good night," Saitama said before releasing her hand. Mari turned and ushered April to their apartment, opening the door and closing it quickly to conceal her awkward embarrassment.


	6. Chapter 6

Something was scratching at the door outside.

It was nearly 11:00 am on a Saturday. Mari was putting a load of laundry into the washing machine. She'd learned that her and Saitama were the only ones living in the apartment building – that they knew of, at least. She hadn't gone from door to door knocking, but Saitama had lived there for a while and said he hadn't seen anyone.

The apartment had it's own strange noises, but she'd never heard a sound quite like that. It sounded like it was right inside the door, maybe even inside the walls. She knocked on the wall behind the washing machine. It was the connecting wall between her and Saitama's apartment. Maybe if it were him making the noise he would get the hint and knock it off.

The noise paused momentarily, but continued after a few seconds. She walked toward her front door, trying to follow the sound. Could it be a mouse in the walls? As she got closer to the door, the sound became louder. It was as if it were right outside the door. She opened her front door and looked down the outer wall at the row of doors. A dark haired young woman was crouching outside of Saitama's door, a kitchen knife in her hand. She seemed to be sawing at the joint of his front door. The action seemed to clash with her elegant green dress and pearl necklace.

"Can I help you?" Mari asked.

The woman stood quickly, as if she didn't realize she could be caught.

"Oh, hello, I was just looking for Saitama. I didn't realize anyone else lived here."

"It's Saturday, so he's probably at the grocery store," she thought aloud. There was usually a sale or a coupon he was planning to use every Saturday. "Wait, aren't you Miss Blizzard?"

The woman stood up straight and brushed her hair back. "So you recognize me?"

"Yea, we met at Saitama's apartment a few weeks ago. Remember? There was hot pot, and a monster. And you almost caught on fire…"

"I don't recall you. But, whenever Saitama reappears, please tell him I was here."

"Ok, but was there a message?" Mari asked but Mrs. Blizzard simply turned and began walking away.

 _Weird,_ she thought. The sunlight was bright outside and the temperature was pleasant. She thought it may be nice to walk down to the overgrown courtyard and sit in one of the benches. She could stretch her legs out in the sun and maybe get a little color. She slid on a pair of sandals and walked down the apartment landing, stopping to look at Saitama's door. There didn't seem to be any damage. What had Blizzard been doing?

When she stepped off the bottom step she could hear a soft _meow_ coming from nearby. Mari followed the sound until she came to the bottom of a small tree in the courtyard. On one of the top branches was a small orange kitten, crying and looking around for a way to get down.

"Come here, kitty," Mari said, clucking to the kitten, but it wouldn't budge. She stepped closer to the tree and jumped to grab one of the lower branches. Her fingers barely grazed it. She was trying to decide whether there was a ladder nearby when she heard a sound behind her.

"Hey, Mari," Saitama said. His hands were full of shopping bags. Genos approached beside him.

"Oh, I'm glad you're here. There's a kitten in this tree, and it can't get down. Can you help me?"

"Yes, Mari," Genos said and began to hand his bags to Saitama. "I will dispatch this cat from this tree immediately-"

"No, Genos, it has to be unharmed. It's just a kitten. If it's nice, I may keep it."

"The apartment has a no pet policy."

"Who will enforce it?" she stared at him darkly, daring him to argue.

"Here, Genos," Saitama began to hand all of his bags over. "This is the job for a true hero, one who is strong, yet gentle enough that even a tiny kitten will not be injured." His face suddenly turned serious. "I will get that kitten for you, Mari."

"Thank you, Saitama. Do you need me to hold any of your things?" But Genos was already holding all of the bags in his arms.

Saitama walked up to the tree and grabbed on to the branches that Mari hadn't been able to reach. He pulled himself up quickly and scaled the tree, the muscles in his back moving against his T-shirt.

"Master, why didn't you simply pull the tree down to you?"

"Genos," Saitama said as he got closer to the kitten. "Sometimes it's worth taking the long way. Write that down."

He reached out his hand to grab the kitten. He wrapped his hand around its squishy little body, pulling it close to his face to get a good look at it. Without warning, the kitten shrieked and hissed, jumping out of his hand and landing on his face, claws out.

Saitama yelled, swatting at the cat on his face. He lost his footing and began to tumble out of the tree. He hit one, two, three branches, before landing on his back on the ground. He groaned loudly as the cat fell beside him, landing on its feet, before running off into some bushes nearby. Genos and Mari ran over to him and looked down at his face.

"Are you alright?" Mari asked.

He groaned again in response.

"Teacher, the cat got away."

"I can see that."

"Here," Mari said, extending her hand.

Saitama grasped her hand in his and pulled himself up. Mari set about trying to dust him off.

"You gave it a good try." She examined his face. "You're all scratched up."

"It's nothing," he said, but he looked ridiculous with the gashes down his face.

They all turned and began to walk up the steps to the apartment. As they got to their doors, Mari turned to them.

"I nearly forgot," she said, "Miss Blizzard came by earlier."

"What did she want?" Saitama asked, his key in the doorknob.

"She didn't leave a message, but when I opened the door she was sawing at something in your front door with a kitchen knife."

"Huh," he replied. "I hope she didn't damage anything."

"Do you think she was trying to get in?"

"Dunno what for."

"Should we find her and ask what she needed?" this was from Genos.

"How about you do that, Genos? And report back to us."

"Yes, Master," Genos answered him quickly before handing the shopping bags over to Saitama and speeding off.

Mari turned the knob to her own door as she watched him leave. "It must be nice to have someone to do your bidding."

"Sometimes." He pushed his door open. "Sometimes I just want to be left alone."

They both closed their doors at the same time.

Mari propped open the lid to the washing machine and began pulling out her clothes. She could hear Saitama moving through his apartment, probably checking his face in the mirror, maybe putting some ointment on it. She began to clip her socks on her hanging drying rack one by one. When that was full, she pulled out the remainder of her clothing and carried it out to the back porch. She began to hang her items on the drying rack outside. Moments later, Saitama joined her, his arms full of his own laundry.

"Laundry day?" he said and she nodded.

"Just trying to catch up before Monday." She draped her running shorts over the rack and hung up a yellow dress next. "Did you find anything good at the store?"

"Whole chickens were on sale," he said as he began to hang his shorts and shirts. "So was cabbage and mushrooms." He continued to rattle on about his trip to the grocery store and Mari found herself smiling at his easy tone. It felt effortless to stand out on their separate balconies, side by side, doing laundry while chatting about their days.

"So we're the only ones living in this apartment complex, right?"

"As far as I know," he responded.

"Why doesn't Genos just move into the apartment on the other side of you?"

He slowed his pace as if he were thinking.

"I mean, I don't know the whole situation, but if you like to be alone, it would give you some space. He'd still be close by."

"There's not a _situation_ ," he said. "He just moved in one day. He pays me rent."

"But you don't pay rent…?"

"Precisely." He shot her a cunning look and she laughed. "It's actually not a bad idea."

"I'm happy to help. You know, when I first moved in, I thought you two might be together."

He gaped at her. "Is that the impression I give off?" He rubbed his head. "I can't have women thinking I'm in a relationship with him. Even if I were into men, do you think Genos would be my type?"

She laughed at him again. "Genos isn't so bad. My sister certainly thought he was cute."

"Yea, I don't guess that worked out. He told me the doctor took out his infatuation centers to make room for more upgrades."

"That's strange."

"Tell me about it."

"Was the doctor a man?"

"I always assumed…"

"So the doctor took out his infatuation centers, but left him with the ability to taste and enjoy food. You'd think a man would choose the opposite."

"Hmmm, I dunno. You may have the wrong idea about male priorities."

"Maybe," she agreed and placed her hand on the sliding glass door. "Let me know if Genos moves into the apartment and I'll help you guys pack and move." She opened the door and stepped inside, leaving him alone on his balcony.

He began to lay out his clothes to dry, working faster since he was alone. He didn't have any reason to dally with his chores now that Mari had gone in. Had she really thought he may be in a relationship with Genos? But she didn't think that anymore. Was it because of the date they'd gone on? If that could even be considered a date. Maybe now was a time to ask her out solo…

It was happening. He was _feeling_. He could hardly remember what it felt like. It was a little stirring in his chest, a longing to spend just a few extra minutes with her, the need to position himself so he could see her face. But how could he make her see him the same way? Mari was nice. She'd been nice to him since the first day. What would make her be extra nice to him?

He went inside and began looking at himself in the mirror. He looked like he always did: a little plain, a little bored, a little goofy. He splashed water on his face and scrubbed at some blood from the cat scratches. They were already healing. He rubbed his head. If he had hair would she be more interested? He could look for a wig, but would that be too weird and obvious?

The sound of the front door opening and closing had him walking out to meet Genos.

"What did Blizzard want?"

"She said she was just coming to see if you'd made any decision about joining the Blizzard group."

"Did you tell her _never_?"

"More or less."

"Good, good," Saitama said. "You know, I've been thinking. To continue your training, it's very important to have your own space to rest and recuperate."

"What would your recommendations be, Teacher?"

"I think it's time for you to get your own apartment. There's plenty in this very complex if you want to remain close by."

"I can move next door."

"I was thinking the very first apartment on this floor. Directly after the stairs, first one on the left. You can be the gatekeeper for this floor, and stop any villains before they get any further." He didn't expect Genos would follow through on this "job," but didn't want Genos to argue, either. It was important that he frame it strategically.

"Understood, Teacher. When should this happen?"

"Tomorrow. I bet we can get Mari to help also." She'd already said she didn't mind, but Genos didn't have to know they'd already discussed him moving out.

"I don't think that's necessary. I only have the one backpack."

"Genos," Saitama said, looking at him seriously, "It is important for heroes to accept help when it's offered. We must all remember that this is a team sport. Write that down."

He watched as Genos took his small notepad out of his pocket. "Now that that's decided, let's make some dinner."


End file.
